Bear with me while I ruminate on some thoughts that have filtered into my consciousness recently. They source from some unrelated fields of study but somehow make sense to me. Then it’s up to you to decide for yourself if what I say makes sense to you.

Traditionally, wedding rings have been worn on the so-named ring finger, either on the left hand or, in some countries, on the right. This tradition dates back thousands of years to ancient Greece and Egypt, where it was thought that a vein in the ring finger, called the vena amoris, anastesiadate.review the vein of love, traveled to the heart. It was later discovered that there was no such vein but over the centuries, wearing a wedding band on the ring finger had become the way to do it and it’s still that way today.

I’d like to propose that there’s another way to regard the fingers’ connections to the organs of the body. Looking at the acupuncture meridians in Chinese medicine, we see that, in fact, the heart meridian is on the pinky finger! Further, we see that the meridian for the pericardium – the tissue surrounding the heart, seeming to hold the heart – is on the middle finger. So now we actually have two fingers on each hand that relate directly to the heart. Interesting.

When we consider palmistry (I warned you that I was blending unrelated fields), we see that there is no finger that corresponds to the heart, which actually is on the palm across the base of the fingers. But the pinky finger represents Mercury and the middle finger Jupiter. (The ‘ring’ finger is the Sun, the index finger is Saturn, and the thumb is Uranus.)

So combining the energies of Mercury and Jupiter, and wearing our wedding rings on these fingers, we in effect can make the statement that “You are always in my thoughts” (Mercury – the mind) and “I hold you in the highest respect, esteem and love” (Jupiter – big things). So I’m fairly happy with deciding on these fingers as representing the best symbols and our best intentions toward our marriage and our marriage partner.

Now let’s play with another field of study, energy medicine, which states that the flow of energy through the body enters through the left hand and exits through the right hand. (This may be switched for those of us who are left-handed, but perhaps not. Left-handers need to try to sense this to determine if it holds true for them.)

The question then becomes – if I am receiving energy through my left hand and giving it out from my right, how do I work that into which finger of which hand I wear my wedding ring on?

My logic suggests the energy of love that I receive from my partner is what holds us together, like the pericardium that holds the heart. anastesiadatereviews Therefore, I’d wear a wedding ring on the middle finger of my left hand.

The love that I give to my partner would be from my heart meridian on my right hand, or my pinky finger. This suggests that we wear two rings instead of one, representing the giving and receiving of love between two people. The circle of life, the circle of love.

The final piece of the puzzle comes into my mind from the Edgar Cayce readings, in which it was stated that the energy of gold is “renewing” and the energy of silver is “sustaining.” So now I have a final choice to make – which ring should be silver and which gold? This one might be best left to each of you to feel for yourselves and what you hope for in marriage.

This also brings to mind a tradition from India, where arm bands of certain religious sects were made of gold, silver and copper (a traditionally Venus metal, and therefore indicative of love). All three bands are either fused together or intertwined and worn on the upper arm.

See? You have so many beautiful choices about how you will express your marriage commitment! Fingers, precious metals, and flows of energy back and forth between you two.

Speaking of marriage, it might be time to redefine what is going on with this tradition in the 21st Century. Of course, we are aware of the high percentage of divorces, up to 50% in some areas. So what’s up with that?

I think that originally the lifetime commitment was introduced by ancient religious leaders as a way to demonstrate the principle that there is only One Relationship that matters, our relationship with God (by whatever Name we use), and that our commitment to one person is our pattern on earth to model, reflecting our devotion to the principle of Oneness. (I sense that this was also a patriarchal move to ensure that the woman remained faithful, regardless of what the man did, as history suggests.)

We only see strict adherence to the idea of marriage with one person lasting a lifetime in the Western factions. In most other societies and religions, there are either loopholes by which divorce can easily be obtained or no lifetime condition present at all. Or no monogamy either. The maternally dominated societies were famous for the woman choosing a partner for as long as she wanted, then moving on to the next one. (Kind of sounds like a lot of people these days, no matter what “vows” were taken.)

The fact remains that in this day and age, the original intent of demonstrating oneness has pretty much fallen by the wayside. Some people are looking for guarantees and stability to raise a family and have a steady economic source. Some may have a romantic notion about ‘being together forever’ but this rarely sustains two people through the steeper challenges that life tends to deliver from time to time.

One thing we can understand is how difficult that first year of being together can be. Two people leading two different lives coming together under one roof 24/7. Whether you see this as a test of love or a sign that the partnership wasn’t meant to be will determine how well you weather this initial period of massive adjustment.

It’s no surprise that more and more couples are opting for a living together arrangement to test the strength of the relationship (and themselves) for a period of time. This reminds me of the old Celtic tradition of hand-fasting, wherein a priest or holy person united a couple for the time of one year and one day. After that, they could decide whether to go on to a longer term marriage or not.

The only thing that saddens me about couples living together these days is that there is no special or even sacred ceremony to mark the beginning of what is really quite an important turning point in both individuals’ lives. I’d love to see the hand-fasting ceremony reintroduced into our Western society, not to mark the beginning of something religious necessarily, but to demonstrate the importance of the love connection that has bound two people together. It’s one thing for roommates to get together for social and economic reasons; but a love connection seems to me to deserve a statement to the world about its specialness that a ceremony can impart.

Then, after a period of time of living together – whether a year or more – when the two people feel that a longer term, more formal commitment beckons them, what I’d really love to see is a monogamous commitment based not on “forever”, but on for how ever long the relationship has meaning and is meant to last.

What I mean by this is that we can see time and again that sometimes there just comes a point when the relationship itself is “completed” or over. There is a purpose for two to come together. Those two together form a third entity – the relationship itself. Just like every other thing under the sun, it has a purpose and a lifespan.

This doesn’t mean that the partners now hate each other. It may mean that some conditions have changed enough so that the relationship itself cannot be sustained or may no longer be relevant. It may simply mean that, whatever purpose was initiated at the beginning of the relationship has been fulfilled. And it may take the individuals some time to realize what that was. Hopefully, with helpful guidance, they can come to terms with the ending and continue on with their lives, having grown and learned and loved as best they can.

When we look back in history and see the conditions people lived under so much of the time, it’s easy to understand why the permanence and security of “forever” was so appealing. For those who regarded a monogamous marriage as a demonstration of their faithfulness to their one God, this feeling of commitment is no longer the common uniter of couples.

So let’s get real with our vows. Let’s acknowledge that things can’t last forever just because we say that’s what we want at one point in our lives but somewhere down the road ‘things change.’ Yes, there is great personal growth and building of character and maturity in sticking through hard times… something more and more individuals seem reluctant to do.

We went to marriage counselling about two dozen times over three years, and some sessions were extended. We talked so much. We listened so much. We wrestled long and hard with many issues.

But it wasn’t until we stopped and began to actually implement what we’d talked about and had been taught that we began charmdatereview to make progress. In our fourth year! And I’m sure that was the advice of our wise and trusted counsellor:

Go and do what can only be done. Stop talking about it. Stop being hearers and now go and be a doer.

None of us likes to hear those words, for they challenge our integrity and they convict us around hypocrisy.

Sometimes it takes a while to get to that place of, ‘Yes, I’ve heard this before… too many times!’

I don’t think we liked leaving those rooms thinking that we were on our own. But she was right. Our counsellor had done all she could do. We knew what we needed to do. We just needed to do it.

Much of what ails us in life is the knowledge that we ought to do something which we never quite have the will of commitment to do.

Finally, when we knew we were on our own, that there was nobody else to turn to, that we had done all the work of identification and assessment and rectification, we had to own what we could only do on our own.

When talk is done, and we know it’s done by the way we repeat ourselves, there is only action left. And oh, what a day it is! It’s momentous and tough and uncomfortable, and liberating and empowering and habit-breaking.

We honour those who invest in our lives most when we ignore what they say least. Those who sow their wisdom into charmdatescam our lives deserve a return on their investment.

It doesn’t matter what we say if we don’t do what we agree together is good and right and appropriate action. Especially as it pertains to others, like within marriage.

There are a lot of things a woman doesn’t want to hear from her husband. “Honey, I’m gay,” might be one of the all-time shockers. Talk about one’s world being turned upside down and inside out. And if there are children involved…

With the advent of Stonewall in 1969 and the subsequent “coming out” of gay people at all levels of society, gay men who married anastesiadatescam for myriad reasons – chief among them fear – are now realizing that it’s time to be who they truly are: gay men.

Even though the act of coming out is fraught with potential loss and even danger, the need to be authentic overpowers one’s fears. And it’s causing quite a ruckus within families, communities, our nation, and around the world.

What’s key to the process of a married man coming out is understanding that everyone – wife, kids, family, relatives, friends, neighbors, co-workers, colleagues, community, church, and group members – will also be joining in the coming out process. This is going to happen if they want to join in or not. And, just like the husband coming out, they’ll get to face many of the same emotions, insecurities, and fears. What’s required is a new discourse, one in which a new trajectory will be initiated by all involved, individually and collectively.

Many people know about the LGBTQ community and have formed opinions and judgments about it. What they know ranges from truthful to fabricated to ignorantly malignant. Just about everyone knows someone who’s gay – not many know a man who’s actually gay hiding out in a marriage to a woman. When the news hits them that he’s gay, it can be jarringly discombobulating, enough so as to end friendships, partnerships, and family connections.

Let’s face it: Most humans want life to be organized, safe, comfortable. Essentially, unthreatening. What is it about a man being gay that throws so many people into a tizzy? For some, homosexuality russianbridesreviews is a sin – next stop hell and eternal damnation. For others, it’s a matter of being contrary to nature – it’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. Others are afraid it says something about themselves – guilt by association. And for some, it hits dangerously close to a hidden truth.

The fact is, though, that there many men who opted for heterosexual marriage because it was the safest thing to do. They’d rather suppress their desires and subvert their very being to avoid rejection, abuse and humiliation, excommunication, damnation, and even being killed. But in today’s dichotomous world of individuality and “f— you” mentality versus the backlash of conservative homogeneity, more men are deciding they can no longer deny their essential being.

Try as we might to ignore, deny, and legislate against the LGBTQ community, the phenomenon of married men coming out will continue on its course. What’s interesting is that very little changes when a man comes out. He’s still the man he’s always been except that his lifestyle will change to a degree and you may very possibly see him with another man, perhaps even at his wedding to that man. He is still a man you can talk to, work with, share life’s experiences with, to be in your heart and part of your spiritual life. In essence, he is still someone you can continue having be a part of your life.

For that to happen, all it takes is communication, a new discourse. Gay men are not monsters or possessed by demons. They are just men who love men. What moves their hearts is no different than anyone else.

The new discourse is about understanding why a man who identifies as gay chose to enter a heterosexual marriage and what drives him from within to be more authentically who he is. There’s nothing black and white about this situation. It is contextual and specific to each individual, and life-changing.

There are those who will shut the door on any married man who comes out. So be it. Those are not the people one needs in their life. Other people will be curious, scared, accepting, defensive, and/or supportive and affirming. Reactions and emotions will run the gamut. The keys to it all are patience, compassion, and an open mind. Discourse is then possible unfettered by preconceptions, fear, and judgment. The new trajectory is a world of accepting and open hearts guided by unconditional love.

Everyday around the world, millions of marriages end in fail, which is gravely unfortunate! In comparison, just as many marriages end in divorce as babies are born.

Is it possible that some percentage of these marriages could have been saved? Sadly, the world will never know. Even if a marriage does africandatescam survive it is difficult to track a success rate due to the overshadowing marriage failure.

Can the destiny of your troubled marriage be redirected? I would love to be able to answer that question, but honestly I can’t. I can tell you that if your marriage is in trouble you can’t do nothing and expect something to come out of it Bu… if you take action, there is a much better chance that your marriage will be saved. Even if you start with a small action such as praying about the situation (if you believe in prayer) you will at least have more piece of mind as opposed to not doing anything at all.

The truth is that saving a troubled marriage is a very challenging task. However, it is very doable also. Anything that is worth fighting for will take effort. With that being said, I will now present you with 4 steps that can reverse the direction of your troubled marriage. The steps are not easy, but neither is being married period. More importantly they provide direction, which is all you need to get your marriage back on track.

The 4 steps are:

1) No more finger-pointing. Stop pointing the finger at your spouse and stop blaming yourself. It’s obvious that someone has to be at fault, but blaming doesn’t help. A sure-fire way to paralyze progress if for couples to blame one another. The more blame, the more stubborn both people become, and the marriage comes to a stand-still. This is why I chose to make this step 1. Momentum is key here.

The blame game is nothing new. It first occurred in the Bible when Adam blame Eve for giving him the forbidden fruit, then Eve turned around and blamed the serpent for tricking her. In the long run chinalovescam.com its a lot better to just bite the bullet and take responsibility for your own actions. Ironically, it makes you feel a lot better.

2) Take responsibility. Regardless of whether you are the husband or wife you may have to be the “bigger man” in this situation. What you need to understand is that people are always looking for someone to set the example. That way, they can follow the example that has been set. Once you make a change, your spouse will most likely follow suit. This will challenge your pride. But remember, pride can cause a great fall if not managed properly. Although similar, taking responsibility and not pointing the finger are different.

Without a doubt. you must purpose in your heart that even if you aren’t at fault you are still going to do some things in a different manner. here is always room for improvement in every case. Change starts with you.

The thing that wows me is that we all know what we should be doing, but it takes some sort of tragic or negative turn of events to occur before we change our course of action.

A troubled marriage is just like a house being on fire, it doesn’t mater who started the fire, it only matters that everyone makes it out of the house safely. As long as the both of you are alive you can always work on building a new house together.

3) Take advantage of the resources that marriage experts have to offer. If others have been helped, you can be, too. What you need to realize is that your situation may seem hopeless because you have never been in it before. It’s unfamiliar territory. Even if this is your second or third marriage each case is unique in its own way. However, experts see these scenarios all of the time. Their years of experience in handling even the toughest marital hardships.

The truth is that your situation is no different from every other situation. Not too much new comes through the doors of marriage therapists. Not to be mistaken; everyone has their own story, but the dynamics are the same.

4) Take action. One detrimental mistake that is made is the people try to have it all figured out before taking action. It’s impossible to have it all figured and all of your ducks in a row before you attempt to fix a marriage. You first start by acting on what you know, then working your way through the rest. Remember, you don’t have to be perfect at something to take action on it, but you do have to take action on it if you ever want to be perfect at it.

Even if you understand where the issue is coming from It is not enough. You must then act! Resolution of the situation takes action.

Will the destiny of your marriage be redirected? If you follow my suggestions, you have infinitely more opportunity for saving your marriage than if you do nothing. In a marriage you must make sure that you are doing your part to the fullest. Your enthusiasm can have great bearing on the outcome of your marriage.

So with that being said…

Being heard is a crucially foundational step that gets us to marital first base.

But more is needed once understanding is established, for once we know what is wrong, then we have the opportunity and amolatinscams choice to act. But first, let’s tackle the heart of the matter:

To not act when we know there’s room to grow is tantamount to condescension. There is a dangerous precedent set if we successfully hear her heart yet fail to do anything about it.

Imagine knowing you have a customer or an employee who is disgruntled. It doesn’t matter whether you believe they’re justified or not in being disgruntled. All that matters is that you take their perception seriously. That you attempt to do something about it.

Far from being a mere customer or employee, how much more should we take our wives perceptions seriously to the point of pondering and planning for the action she desires?

Now here’s when it gets tricky. On the one hand, in some situations, asking several questions for clarity will help you, and it will show her how interested you are to truly understand what is needed. But, on the other hand, sometimes she will want you to know or to work it out for yourself. This is where your respectability is called into question. If your heart is in it, she will see and accept the result, usually even if it still misses the mark. For her, you’ve had a go at it. If at first you don’t succeed, however, is the opportunity to prove you’re serious about getting it right. zooskreview And still, actual results come a distant second to the intent of a heart bent on doing better. Wives love a husband with potential.

Us guys ought never to assume she wants action any particular way. We ought never get upset when our efforts aren’t appreciated, though we will be tempted to, and if we do it’s a sure sign to her that our motives weren’t correct from the beginning. We shoot ourselves in the foot.

Now, this is great if you’re an all-about-the-chase sort of guy, and apparently, we all are (which I’m not so sure about). We like winning our woman, but we prefer less to win her all over again, every day for the rest of our lives, whereas, her being pursued shows her that the initial chase wasn’t just about lust.

The ‘thrill of the chase’ continues when, as husbands, we seek first to understand our wives. Once we understand, the chase continues in pursuing action.

Notwithstanding all this about action, it cannot be laboured enough that action shouldn’t be entertained, let alone attempted, until our wives have really been heard. For most couples this is no fait accompli. This is more than assuming we understand. When we assume we understand, we don’t.

Ladies and gentlemen, I consulted with my wife in the writing of this article, the publishing of which would be ill-advised without her endorsement.

I am fascinated by the number of women who complain that there are not any good men out there for marriage and the number of men who go their own way (MGTOW).

As I was doing research for one of my books, I learned something absolutely astonishing. I learned that both men and woman are more educated in the area of preparation for an occupation that we are to successfully choose and marry a mate for the next forty years. Why is this important? Many people who get into relationships and get married haven’t an accurate idea what they are getting themselves into. zooskscam They are not educationally equipped with the tools that they need to have a healthy relationship. Even worse, due to the emasculation of men and manhood displayed in media, the court system, films, Human Resource policies, etc., there is no benefit to men for being men.

More now than ever, schools and colleges are feminine-centric. The Judeo-Christian model of marriage where the roles of traditional marriage are not equal is frowned upon by the feminist movement. That said, how can a man see marriage in today’s society as a benefit? Most times he is not fully appreciated for all that he does. He is expected to work his whole life for his family and suddenly his wife decides to leave, causing him to lose all that he has invested in and worked for?

Women are taught that they need to have high standards for the man they are supposed to marry. However, are they emotionally ready for marriage? It is clear that both men and women are not likely to have read a good relationship or communication book to prepare themselves for a healthy relationship. Men often complain how women can sometimes be “drama queens,” are selfish and want to be the center of attention. Some men also report that women are not steeped in bringing much to the table beside the sexual relationship which women tend to use to manipulate men. Men like companionship and women who like to share their time doing the things men like to do. Men love to be respected. They like women they can trust, are considerate but often say that they find these things lacking.

Men who go their own way do not have to bear the risk of being decimated, financially, emotionally and physically. They can live a more peaceful, drama free life. They often will date, but will not marry again. anastesiadatescam Men want a relationship, but many men and women are unprepared. So how can this dynamic be improved?

I believe that educating ourselves as to what a healthy relationship is supposed to be is critically important. Statistics reveal that the total percentage of college graduates that will not read another book after graduating college is 42%. For High School graduates it is 33%.

Education is essential concerning relationships. Imagine what a difference it would make if 1/3 of our formal education included relationship skills? I submit that the result would be couples better prepared for relationships. That said, reading and practicing what is learned, would improve not only the quality but the longevity of a relationship. Realizing that “being” the right person who is prepared for a relationship versus “finding” the right person could change the dynamic of the lack of available marriage eligible men and women.

The Royal Wedding occurs on our eleventh wedding anniversary – thanks Harry and Meghan! – and guess what we’re planning to do? We’re going to be watching it. Okay, it is more my wife’s preference, russianbrides.review but it highlights what she says is the biggest improvement in me as a husband looking back from Year 11 to Year 1.

Being one to ask incisive questions (too much at times), I said to her, ‘What single facet of me as a husband has most improved over the past ten years?’

Her answer was simple and profound… ‘It’s your willingness to serve me.’

Given all the things we’ve focused on over the years and what I’ve developed in most is something so simple. Yet, as my wife alluded, it’s not simply about doing more or being there more, but a willingness to serve her comes about as a heart change.

Heart changes can take years to nurture. And we would argue that all the hard work of marriage, or the true giving of ourselves to anything really, is about the heart – actually wanting to do what we need to do.

the work of the heart is doing what we need to do in such a way that we want to do it.

Think of the amount of times we’re bound by some sort of contract to do what we find difficult to do. The heart isn’t in it when we know it needs to be. I’ve lost friends, jobs and careers because my heart wasn’t in it. And marriages need plenty of heart if they’re to prosper.

Husbands and wives who are still striding down struggle street may sense it’s the heart that needs to change – in them both. If one won’t change, why would the other? Never is it right that one change. amolatina.reviews Both partners need to be prepared to give their whole hearts sacrificially toward the marriage and the other, and ironically, not be contingent on the other doing same.

Both hearts must change, but both must own their own heart.

As I step back to our first wedding anniversary (as you can read from my journal) I felt like I’d learned so much already. The truth is though, I still had so much to learn, and indeed, the next nearly two years would be harder that I could have imagined as we committed to the deeper work of the marriage counselling we needed.

What I’d like to say to my recently married self, from the safer vantage point of a decade’s experience, is do the heart work. Work out what you want from what is needed, be honest about the gap, and do what is needed for the right reasons.

Marriage works out best when we want to be married, when we want our partner, and when we’re prepared to do anything for the marriage to succeed.

The marriage must come first. It must be ministry-numero-uno.

If we wish to be successful in any endeavour in life, and we’re married, every endeavour in life will be enhanced when there is mutual happiness in the marriage.

True and mutual happiness in marriage is dependent on mutuality of heart, one for the other.

Bellowing and bawling, slammed doors, revving engines, speeding down the road. It’s not the first time we’ve seen this. Like many couples, we’ve lived it too. Conflict in marriage bears a common denominator: two disconnected entities, both insisting on their individual rightness. Where the glue of marriage has come unstuck.

It is not God’s vision of what He authored in the institution of marriage.

There is a fundamental three in oneness in marriage anastasiadate-com necessary to make it work.

This is not about the Trinity, but it is about the trinitarian nature of marriage, for a cord of three strands is not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12). Those three strands are the (two) dimensions of each partner (one and two) and the oneness (third dimension) that binds their union.

Where the three strands come together is in a oneness that combines them – this is the constituency of two individuals and the dimension that combines them. That dimension that combines them can be thought of as a God dimension of the Holy Spirit, because it is what makes each partner bend toward the other in service – a revenant mutual submission.

We’ve seen it before in our own marriage; two dimensions without the third is ruinous. Two dimensions that pulled us apart without the third dimension that drew us together.

A marriage bears little hope for either partner until they’ve both learned to love the other sacrificially well.

A marriage encapsulates hope to the measure of love both individual partners can sacrifice for the other.

And it’s just so common in any couple counselling I’ve done. Partners bring themselves to the table of the marriage without thinking of the sacrifice that so centrally speaks of love, for love is little else than sacrifice in marriage. And sacrifice is raw act of will. Love is a decision, moment by moment, moment after moment, again and again, for the life of the marriage.

When there is no oneness in the marriage, not only is there a lack of thinking for the other partner, there is a comprehensive amolatinascam.online lack of behavioural regard for them, especially when it comes to pressure times of conflict.

Every couple needs to learn just how to bend toward the other in order to invoke the powerful third dimension that completes the oneness they need to feel their marriage is everything God ordained for them.

Oh, if I think of the kind of man I was compared with the kind of man I am now there are sharp yet subtle differences. Significant changes took place, yet I am ostensibly the same man. And still, today I have an ability to overcome abusive patterns of behaviour simply because God gave me the power to be honest. And the most important change I have received is the conviction of the Holy Spirit that compels me to confess my wrongdoing, russianbridesfraud and in telling the truth, that same truth sets me and others I love free.

I write this to honour my former wife. I write also to honour the love of my life, my wife.

Fifteen years ago, I lived a life on the edge, though for all intents and purposes my life was grand. Materially, things were fine, and the financial struggles of early marital life were behind us. Yet, more sinister problems lurked beneath the facade; ambition leading to compromise for career leading to family neglect, occupational stress leading to escapism leading to addiction, and an anger borne of fear leading to a pattern of control leading to verbal abuse of my then wife.

It was my destiny that I lost that first marriage. I couldn’t see it coming, but I should’ve seen it coming. I was satisfied that as a husband I was ‘good enough’, but how flawed that perception was! No I wasn’t. And if only more of us would see that we’re not good enough it would convict us to be better, or certainly more, so far as love is concerned.

The first time I was able to publicly decry my performance as a marriage failure was in a sermon in July 2006. I recall seeing a man from the congregation leave in tears. I knew what was occurring in him. The elders followed him and prayed with him. The Holy Spirit had convicted him of his abuse because I spoke poignantly of mine. I was sad, yet happy. It needs to be called out. And it’s the power of the Holy Spirit to convict us of sin enough to lead us to repent so we might be delivered and saved.

Back then I was a perfectionist, and I expected that standard of my wife, and sometimes even my children. Today I live accepting my imperfection, and don’t expect myself or anyone else to get it right all the time. Back then anger was never too far away. Today the anger is still there, but it is a tenth as potent as what it was, and it’s oriented toward better reasons, not usually to control others. Back then shame was the hidden puppeteer. anastesiadatescams Today’s puppeteer is the Holy Spirit. Back then I was a husband who could be terse with his words and mood. Today I’m a husband with potential. Back then I couldn’t have admitted I abused my wife. Today I know how not to be, and there but for the grace of God, go I.

I’ve been two types of husband, both for over ten years now. I have something to say to the man who doesn’t want to abuse his wife but does. Break the cycle. Confess your sin. Seek your recovery. Find your help. Discover God’s Presence. Realise honesty’s power.

Not many weeks go past where I don’t wish that I could’ve been a better husband in my first marriage.

At least I can release that legacy through the few dozen marriage counselling relationships I’ve had the privilege to provide. I share my failures in those sessions and it always adds power to people’s stories of redemption.

Get it right; I still make so many mistakes. Most days. But I’m not ashamed, because I know God knows who I am. I’m not ashamed because those mistakes bring out into the light the act of my wrongness. And then I can be responsible for myself and honestly hold myself to account.

The most obvious thing I can say about the contrast of the husband I was in comparison to the husband I am is this: it’s only by the power of Christ and through belief in His name to follow Him. There would be no difference otherwise.